Click
the
panic
button if
your
boss
is
coming!!
Three Black Men and one Black Woman's
Sacrifice
Two black men and one lone black woman
were holding on to a rope hanging from a helicopter. The rope could
not hold all three, so they decided that
one of them must let go to save the
rest. No one wanted to let go, so
the lone black woman sighed right before
she made a heart
tearing speech. She said "I am
willing to let go and fall to my death
in order to save the rest of
you. You see, all my life I have made
sacrifices for black men. I've sacrificed for my father, my brothers,
my husband and my sons.". With
such great
relief, the two black men who were holding the
rope
started to clap.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Black Woman and the Wedding Dress
A young black woman was getting married,
she found out that her
father's young wife was planning to wear
an identical dress to
what her mother recently purchased to
wear the day of the wedding. She asked her
father's young wife to reconsider
wearing that particular dress. Her father's young
wife declined, and further declared that
she would look much better in the dress
oppose to the bride's own mother. The young bride
was horrified and went to her mother
with eyes full of tears. She asked her
mother if she should perhaps un-invite her
father and his wife in order to solve
the problem. The young bride's mother
was a wise black woman with
stunning beauty and grace. The mother
told her daughter not to worry, she will
simply purchase another dress to wear
the day of
the wedding. The young bride got
concerned and said "Mother, that dress
cost you so much money. If you buy
another, where will you ever get the
chance to wear the first" The mother
smiled and said, "I'm going to wear
the dress, I'll wear it at the dinner rehearsal, the
night before the actual wedding".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If an elderly black woman says she's
broke, she's broke!!
An
elderly black
woman
answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a
well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. "Good morning,"
said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your
time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered
vacuum cleaners." "Go away!" said the elderly black woman. "I haven't got any
money!", "I'm broke!" and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as
a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide
open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least
seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse
manure on to her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum cleaner does not
remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I
will personally eat the remainder. The elderly black woman stepped back and said,
"Well I hope you've got a damned good appetite, because they cut off
my electricity this morning." What part of broke do you not
understand?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The
Little Boy
There was
once a poor elderly black woman that lived alone in a run down house.
Everyday after school, a little boy would pass by and yell
insults towards her. One day the little boy decided to hide
under the elderly woman's porch in hopes of jumping out and
startling her to death. Instead, he heard her say a prayer. "Dear Lord, I'm so
hungry. But I know you will have food on my doorstep tomorrow and I will do
a dance for you with these old tired feet of mine". The little boy
was maliciously ecstatic after hearing this, he had a plan.
The next
day he gathered food from his home and told his friends to follow him
after school. He told them the old foolish black woman thinks that God
listens to her, and she will do a dance so they all can laugh. As
planned, the boy placed the food on her doorstep and they all hid under
her porch. The elderly black lady came out and saw the food. With glee,
she said very loudly; "Lord, you are so mighty that you answer all
prayers. Not only did you send food, but your powers are so
mighty that you made the devil
bring it himself".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The
Black Woman and the Genie's lamp
One day a
black woman went for a walk along the beach. She stumbled upon a Genie
lamp, she rubbed it and the Genie came floating out. He told her that he
was very old and she could only have one wish. Immediately the black
woman wished for world peace which would include - no more global
warming, no hunger/poverty, no crimes, no more wars, and happiness for
everyone in the world.
The Genie
cringed and said "I told you I am old, a wish like that could drain my
powers and destroy me for all eternity. Try something more practical
please!"
The Black
woman thought hard, then finally she wished for a good man, preferably a
black man. A
black man that would cherish her, appreciate her, stay faithful, tend to
her every needs, and spend all his spare time at home
with their future family. The Genie made a long sigh and asked,
"What was that first wish again?".
If
A Men
Got Pregnant...
*
Maternity leave would last for two years...with full pay.
* There'd be a cure for stretch marks
* Natural childbirth would become obsolete
* Morning sickness would rank as the nation's number one health
problem
* All methods of birth control would be improved 100 percent effective.
* Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet
trained
* Men would be EAGER to talk about commitment
* They wouldn't think twins were quite so cute
* Fathers would demand that their SONS be home from dates by 7:
00pm
* Men could use their briefcases as diaper bags
* They'd have to stop saying, "I'm afraid I'll drop him."
* Paternity suits would be a line of clothes
* They'd stay in bed for the entire nine months
* Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an
entree
* Women would rule the world!
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